Getting There

I'm sitting here in front of my laptop, and unlike in the last few posts, I'm a content man. Its been a long time since I've had this feeling in my gut. I'm happy. I smile like an idiot just because I want to. My headphones are playing - and after a long time - my favorite music. Amma is sitting there watching me and smiling away. Yes, everything is as it should be.

That, folks, is what everyone looks for in life. Happiness. That is my definition of happiness. My family, my life and everything that makes it alive. What is your definition? Have you thought about that? No? Have you tried to define it?

It is important to know what your happiness is. It is important to know where your happiness lies. When you have answered those questions, answer these: Why is it so important? When do you want it? How will you get it?

Those are the most basic questions in life. Your life will be about how you choose to answer those very questions at every juncture. Answer them. But answer them carefully. Ask them to yourself now. Do you have the answers? Were they waiting at the tip of your tongue? Did you make some answers up in a hurry? Did you give it a thought? Did you prioritize?

That should get you thinking. Not too long ago, I attended a professional talk by one Mrs.Silipeno(rhymes with jalepeno), who is an executive at a firm called SlumberJ. In the duration of the talk, she asked the auditorium to jot down as many words as they could in 1 minute. After the activity was done, she asked us to circle off all the things that were related to the future. The activity was to determine, at any point, how much of your energy is focused towards what you want. Mine was a meager 30%. Pitiful. My list was full of things that made me happy, that were always what I thought about. But, they weren't what I wanted in the future. They weren't even close enough to make me driven.

That taught me one thing. Not everything that makes you happy now will hold good for the future. Hence, it is very important to answer those questions. To chalk out what you want. To KNOW what you want. The list made from answering those questions with a thought, a serious, soul-searching, self-reflecting thought to life and what you want, will be the list that will drive you most in  life. That list will keep you driven. That list will bring you unfathomable focus on what you are doing for that future you so want.

Think about it. I do not know whether it will make any real sense. It does to me. 

Insomnia!

Sooooo, its one in the night and I'm awake. What are you going to read in this post? Probably me ranting about some issue in my life. Mindless banter about a pitiful problem, that probably has a very simple solution. Do I care what you think? No. Then why am I doing this? Simply because I need to vent it out. I need a way to let my frustration out. I can't shout at the people I'm pissed at. I can't run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. I don't have a fix to this situation. So I can only let go.

I'm sure you've been in a place like this before. Where you are awake through the night and you don't know what to do about it. I have been. And many times, I wonder, will I end up like the dude from Fight Club? Will I go schizophrenic? Do I have an uber-handsome alter ego somewhere inside me? I wish.

I'm sure if I go schizophrenic, my alter ego will be an even fatter, uglier and sleazier version of me. You wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

The point is, something is bothering me. I want to do something about it. But I can't. There's only so much you can bear. Most of the time, you just face a disappointment, and you let go. You're back to normal in minutes, or to stretch it maybe a couple of days. But, what do you do when it comes back to haunt you every time you think about something even remotely linked? What do you do when the reason you are miserable lives in the next room, cooks your food and loves you more than anyone else in the world? No, this isn't one of those cheating husband/live-in guy/boyfriend things.

What do you do? Run? Talk it out? Settle for a compromise? Let drag you till you can't fight it anymore? Live with it? What?

Solution? Disturb the other person who loves you more than anyone else in the world? Maintain a stony silence and sulk in your room all day long? Scream till you loose your voice? Murder someone just for the heck of it? How do you let loose a frustration that's insatiable?

Precarious position isn't it?

Why does stuff have to get so complex? I'm a guy who loves to laugh. I believe in spreading love. Ego is something I have learn't to use carefully. Offended - I don't get very easily. Angry - Not a big fan. Compromise - I'm as diplomatic as that MLA from your ward.

I do not have answers. But I want closure. I want to be able to look at the person that's pissed me off and say, you pissed me off. I'm angry. I want to punish you. I don't want to feel like running as fast as I can in the other direction when I look at the person.

I feel like my soft heart gets me into such situations. The other person always knows that they can pull their pants down, shit on the floor in front of me, and throw that shit in my face and I still wont do anything just because I'm soft. So should I chuck that kind-soft-mushy-me and become a cold hearted bastard who everyone is scared to play with? Is that my closure?

I notice, like a sore thumb, that its always the Bad Boys who get what they want. Those guys who sit in the back of the class and throw taunts at the lecturers. Those guys with "attitude". Those guys who always have a backlog. Those guys who get year-back after year-back. Should I become that?

I feel cheated and let down. To be so close and yet not touch it. It is maddening. And to have nothing to do about it - even more so. Will I get sleep after I publish this? Sure doesn't feel like it! Oh, well. Something more for my blog, at the very least. 

Those Little Things.

Its been a while. Even though I don't keep things pending, my previous blog-series is incomplete, and I'm going to leave it that way! Just because I'm too lazy to finish it!

But, I'm back now, and mighty long it took me to dredge up these writing skills of mine! Before I jump in, I want to take this opportunity to remember that one reader who inspired me to write once more! I have to apologize, for this post is long overdue!

Have you guys ever thought about those little things in life that mean so much? There are times when they can change your life, times when they make you cry, times when they make you laugh, times when they put you into a spiral of depression, but most of all, they can give you hope or take it away.

It is astonishing how we fail to recognize their importance in life. I am myself an example of it. So are you. So is everyone else who has walked this earth.

It might be that little nagging in your head when you lie, that hesitation you feel when you have to ask for something, or the fear you feel when you have to make a stand. It could be something you wanted your bestie to say to you, something you wanted your homie to do for you. Something you expected from your parents.

When things like those don't go the way you want them to, they crush your world. Its those little things.

We often don't pay attention to them. The world's too loud for all that now.

But when something goes well, when someone comes through, the feeling of exhilaration, the joy, the happiness, short though it is, it rejuvenates life. Like a spring of hope and happiness just came alive inside you. The warmth it spreads lasts long. Such are the things that make memories.

I write this not only from the receiving end. Important as it is that such little things happen to oneself, it'll do good to remember that others are well deserving of such little things.

"Give, and you will receive. Your gift will return to you in full--pressed down, shaken together to make room for more, running over, and poured into your lap. The amount you give will determine the amount you get back." - Luke (6:38), The Holy Bible. 

Nothing comes without giving. When one remembers that, everything will be in acceptance. There will be no abeyance in what you shall receive. Think about it. There might be something that's nagging you right now. Act, do not ignore. Everyone dies, but only a few live. Try to be one of those few. Dance, and life will dance with you! 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 10

With that moment of perfection fading away, it was like I was just waking up from a dream. I felt alive. I felt fresh. But we still had a while to spend before the sun rose. A guy came along with a little tanker filled with hot coffee. We all bought the coffee at 10 bucks a cup. The plastic cup was pitifully small. Nowhere near enough to get me going. But the coffee was tasty and I have to admit, I enjoyed it!

As we waited for the sun to show up over the horizon, we took to watching the growing stream of joggers jog down the boulevard. What a SIGHT it was! In the hundreds of people jogging down the track, one beautifully endowed lady, thought it right to "reward" our nightlong wait with a very perverted game of "melon"ball(if you know what I mean)!

Just as we finished with the little cups of coffee, we realized that it was 6 25. In a few minutes the sun would be out. We were all looking forward to this. We were waiting for the Kodak moment when the sun would just peep over the horizon and illuminate the metallic waters of the Arabian. Sadly, we never got to see it.

It was 6 30 and no sign of any peeping from the sun. We had all noticed it, but we had not wanted to say it. The horizon was grudgingly guarded by a wall of clouds. So no sunrise for us. Were we heart broken? Naaaah! We just walked into Le Cafe, and blew a couple of 100 bucks on coffee and brownies. It was worth every penny. The brownies were oven fresh. The coffee had the aroma that would wake the gods up.

We did miss the sunrise, but by God! It was a perfect morning. Hot beautiful coffee, warm chocolaty brownies, a very beautiful morning sea and right people to mess around with. It is something I will remember for a long long time.

After the sun rose a little more, the pleasant morning weather started becoming rude and unsightly. We were beginning to sweat and the fact that we had been up all night sweating like pigs didn't help at all. I was sticky and uncomfortable. And some of us had to "go" to the toilet. We hadn't had breakfast either. So we got going.

It was our last day in Pondy. We had paid for three days' stay at the hotel and had to check out by noon. We got back began packing and doing the toilet stuff. The ones that had finished with bath and toilet stuff decided to go find breakfast. It was 10 in the morning and we thought we would find decent breakfast. In ten minutes, Pondy told us to go F*** ourselves. Not a single shop was open. If it was nothing was cooked.

So we got back to the hotel, empty handed. We ordered the food from the hotel kitchens itself. We were all ready and packed. Once we finished with breakfast, which I admit was filling, cheap and tasty we got our luggage and reached the reception. The payment was made. Now, we had a deal with the guys at the reception. On the first day itself we had asked them if we could leave our bags in the reception for the last day was we did not want to lug it around. They had agreed. The guy at the reception totally bailed on us on the deal. We decided to hire a room too at the place. The nerve the B****** must have had to try and rent us the room at twice the price we had hired for the last three days.

Then I had the idea of dropping off our luggage at Sid's chitappa's place. Thank god. Saved us all a 100 bucks apiece. The day was just beginning, and the long ride to chitappa's place felt awesome. It actually got us asking around and trying to know the place better. When we finally reached the place,  we were greeted by an old lady. We put our luggage into a room, probably their kids' room, and left.

As to what we would do for the day, we had not planned. There were some places left out, a couple of temples, an ashram, a few churches, and not to forget, the water sports hub, the Chunambar. But before everything, we wanted to go to Nehru "Salai", Pondy's own avenue road*bangaloreans will know*. It took us quite a while to reach Nehru Salai and even longer to find parking for the vehicles.

Once we found parking we began hunting for this place suggested by Akshay's sister, for lunch. I can't quite recall the name of the restaurant though. Once we did get there we were terribly let down. The actual place, which was supposed to be a french cuisine, was already closed. It would only open in the evening again. Splendid. So we left the place and started to hunt for a place to have lunch. After what seemed like an eternity, we reached Adyar Anand Bhavan. We had all the local favourites(chilli parata) to fill our stomachs. Once we did that we decided to head to The Chunambar.

This place is located a few kilometers, maybe about 10km away from Pondy on the Cuddalore main road. It looks very welcoming and feels like a place out of the movies. When you get into the resort, you reach a backwater area, with a motor boat waiting to ferry you down to paradise beach. With a very nominal fee*100 bucks per visit*, we got onto the ferry. The backwaters look beautiful. Calm and serene with clear blue sky at the horizon.

When we docked at the little wooden dock of the paradise beach, we did not know what we were gonna be looking at. About 20 people including the 7 of us were on the ferry. They have a system where the ferry gets a set of customers and the same one takes the last set back. After initial photography, we wandered onto the beach. It was deserted. It was beautiful. White sand, blue sea. Rough waves. Only the 20 people on the beach. 

Hey there Pondy! - Part 9

It was already 11 30 in the night, a few minutes from midnight. The boulevard of the Promenade was deserted. 7 noisy boys, a scared girl and a few local guys and the cop leaning on the lamp post were all that were left. The sea was rough and rising at an alarming rate. Yet, the few people on the boulevard refused to leave.

There is a little 24 hour cafe on the boulevard. The place was like one an author would describe in a book. It was just the right size. It overlooked the beautiful ocean. It was painted white. It had a little terrace where we could sit and watch the ocean. And by God! It had the best coffee I've tasted(This maybe because I paid 90 bucks for one mug!). So, all of us walked in on my insisting. The place smelled absolutely heavenly. I've never had a cuppa coffee at that time of the night. I must say, it feels real good. 

For the 7 of us, time wasn't nearly enough. We would have loved to stay on the beach doing nothing but walk around in the cold breeze and keep looking at the waters of the Arabian ocean attempt to tear apart the rocks of the Promenade beach. Oh. Correction. For the 6 of us. Anirudh apparently was itching to take the FZ for a spin on the 2km long boulevard. Understandable. 

The boulevard is a concrete road, 2km long. It is super clean. And that no soul populated the place made it even better. We were in no mood to refute the guy, so he got his way. The bike was out and roaring down the road in no time. It was like a game of tennis. We all were standing on the sidewalk and watching Anirudh whizz past us; From left to right and back again. 

Unable to let Anirudh belt the bike alone, I brought out my own FZ and Sid, the Honda Shine. All three of us hit the road and had a blast on the bikes. Later, from what the guys said, the leaning cop was amused by the three of us repeatedly tearing up and down the road! 

After a while, I stopped near the gang because my hands were getting numb. As we contemplated getting back to the room, a cop car stopped next to us, and they asked us to go home because it was late. Problem solved. We got back to the rooms.

Now, it was time for the great Bluff marathon. We had to spend the night awake because we did not want to miss the sunrise at any cost. Bluff was the game we chose to get us through the night. Since Krit's room had the AC, and the largest space of the three rooms, we chose it as the venue.

Thus began the marathon of Bluff games! Each one of us had a trick or two up our sleeves, and brought them out at the right times to make the game interesting. Ankit was the best player among the lot. He was like a master torturer with the cards, putting down one card at a time and calling most bluffs. There were spoil sports like Krit and Akshay, super competitors like Anirudh and me and of course, the quiet bystander waiting for the chance to strike like Sid.

As the night progressed, it became that the A/C in the room was definitely broken. The temperature shot up, what with all the 'Agarbatti' lighting up in the room every now and then. The fact that there were no windows in the room and that there were 7 of us in there did not help at all. The heat was getting to me. Badly.

Then Anirudh opened the door and walked out for some fresh air. He immediately asked us to step out and see the difference. When I stepped out, I knew we had been beating ourselves up in the heat for nothing. The corridor of the hotel was ice cold. It was a bad idea to remain locked up in the room.

By the time we realized this, it was about 5 in the morning. We decided to take a break from the game as it was getting monotonous and ill tempered due to the heat. We all went back to our respective rooms to get fresh and leave before the sun rises. By 5 30, we had left the hotel and reached the beach in 5 minutes.

The sea had subsided a considerable level. It was a lot calmer than it was in the night. A light breeze was blowing towards the beach. It was still dark out. The street lights gave an eerie feel to the boulevard. We waited for a while and then called up Jaishree, Krit's sister who is currently doing her Ph.D in the USA.

We found out that the sunrise did not happen till 6 30. We had a good 45 minute wait till the sun would be up in the sky. So we settled down in the rocks, staring at the lightening sky, and debating what each of the clouds looked like. Sushanth and Akshay were sleepy as shit. Sushanth was almost dozing on my shoulder. Ankit was plaing with the handicam.

In all this, there was a moment for me. One of those you want to paint. One of those you know that will happen only a few times in your life. It was a moment of perfection. I had all that I wanted. My life was devoid of all worries. There was a peace inside that lasted only for a fraction of a second. And then, it disappeared. Just like that. 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 8

After satisfying the hunger within us, we got onto our bikes and returned to the hotel. The ride back to Pondy was not very eventful, except that we got separated on the way back. We met up a little while later, in a place unknown. But we managed to find our way back without much asking around! Felt like we had lived there for years!

What caught my attention the most about traveling in Pondy was that no matter where you went, or how you went, you always end up on Anna Salai( Anna Street). It was unnerving, for this was the very manifestation of the saying "All roads lead to Rome"!

Once we reached the hotel, we put our stuff away, took baths, got all cleaned up and left. It was our last night in Pondy, and we did not want it to go waste. It went without saying that there would be a small *farewell drinking*, but that wasn't enough to get us there. We wanted something to remember Pondy with. Something that would make the whole trip perfect. Give it the storybook ending.

So we decided that there would be no sleeping that night. The night would be ours to spend. And come morning, we would be waiting at the beach for the sun to rise. Thus began preparations for the morning.

Anna Salai had all that we could ever need for the night. The *farewell drinks* were bought. The cards to play bluff were ready. But the time was not right to return to the rooms. The night was young and Pondy's Promenade beach was calling to the gang that would be leaving her in a few hours. We heeded.

The gang of 7 reached the Promenade. Bikes were parked. The boulevard of the beach was shut off to all motor vehicles every evening. That made the experience even better. I don't know when we got onto the beach. I don't know how long we were there. All I know was that the beach was amazing to watch.

Sid had an uncle in Pondy, and had been invited for dinner that night. So he was picked up by his uncle("chitappa" as I would like to call him). We promised to wait at promenade till he got back. We walked around the boulevard, visited a few of the shop along the road, bought souvenirs for the guys who couldn't make it to the trip, watch the crowd thin out, found a comfortable spot on the rocky beach to sit and watch the beach play. It was a serene evening, nice and calm. All of us had the regret that it was the last day, yet, we were excited to get back home. It wasn't that any of us were homesick. But I have to admit, there's no place like home. No matter how much we may like a place, we belong back home.

Sid was returned to us in a couple of hours. By that time, the crowd on the beach had almost completely dispersed, save a few like ourselves, and a fair young girl with a little Pug. After spending time on the beach, just watching her, and talking about random things, we decided to take a walk. It was getting too cold, and none of us had brought a sweater along. But we weren't ready to leave yet. So we walked.

After some time, Ankit who'd been eyeing the girl with the pug, walked back to us and said, "Dooood... I wanna talk to that girl ra". How very much like him. Out of the blue he wants to talk to a girl we had never seen before. More importyantly, a girl who had never seen US before!

I said, "Okay. So go talk to her". But things can never be that simple. So Ankit said, "Goo ra. Just like that?". Well duh! Of course just like that! We would be leaving in a few hours. Probably never see the chick again! So I offered, "Okay, I'll come with you and talk to her. But you have to begin." How very like me. Ankit wants to step in dung, so I'll do it with him! Sushanth offered to come along too. Yeah. 3 unknown guys. 1 cute chick with a dog that probably can't... correction, won't bark. We were asking for it.

So we walk in the direction of the girl, and she was walking towards us. And like one of those comedies you see on TV, the whole thing flopped. We lamely walked past her. Ankit totally chickened out! But, Sushanth and me wanted to do something crazy. And we couldn't let the opportunity go. So we took an about turn, and walked back to the girl. When we caught up to her, I started the conversation with her and Sushanth with the Pug. From the word go I knew it was a bad idea. The girl must have thought we were drunk or that we were gonna kidnap her. I could see FEAR written on her face. But I just couldn't just stop. So I made pointless conversation, and finally let her go when I knew she would start screaming if I continued.

The three of us walked off in the other direction. But the others were standing a distance away and watching the whole thing. Turns out the girl ran for her life once we left! I really must look like one of the terrorists! 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 7

The beach we hit was like none I've been to before. The sand was grainy. It got in our pant pockets. It weighed the pants down. Very irritating. But we did not notice any of this when in the water. It took me a while, but I realized that the beach was pretty dangerous. The undercurrents close to the shore were very powerful. The beach sank so deep all of a sudden, it was shocking. Yes, we had fun. But I've had better beach days. When I finally got out of the water, my skin was raw from the grainy sand.

But what was fun about the beach was what we did after we got out of the water. Krit suggested we cover him up in sand and make him a mermaid. Our mermaid... if you can even call it that, turned out to look very different from the cute ariel we know. Again, for reasons known and unknown, I can't tell you what it looked like though.

That was a lot of fun. A lot. That wasn't all. The beach had a lot of things we did not see everyday. Or at every beach. We saw a french lady in a bikini, one in a swimsuit, and a very very old man in HIS swimsuit. The first was chilling on the beach with the local dog. Literally. The second and the third went for a swim in the beach! All I could do was stare at the old man swimming. I've never gone that far down into the beach. Another thing to do before I die.

Anyway, we finally got tired of the beach and the heat. We were hungry, and by default we wanted to eat pizza. Why? Because on the way to the beach, we saw many restaurants that served pizza. Oh yeah! So we got out of the beach after dressing in the little rooms of the guests resort. The amount of sand we shed in those little rooms was astounding!

The moment we got onto the bikes, I knew I was hungry enough to gorge down a whole pizza. I have eaten pizzas. A lot of them. I love pizza. But never before had I eaten a firewood oven pizza. They are absolutely the best you'll ever have. In the hungry condition that we were, when we arrived at Georgio's pizza place, we were relieved.

We rushed in and ordered as soon as we could. 2 non-veg, 3 veg. 7 soft drinks. 2 soups. 1 pasta. Gone in 1 hour. The amazingly thin and crustless base of the pizzas were a treat to the mouth. My mouth waters just at the thought of those delicious pizzas. The toppings were ample. And very tasty. The soups were gourmet. Silky smooth and perfect to the last grain of salt. The pasta like none I've tasted before. The flavor of the herbs was eminent in the pasta. The creamy sauce of the pasta had just the right taste. The food melted in our mouth. I did make sound like a 10 thou meal. It cost us a mere 750. Yeah. Now you wanna go to Pondy too don't you? 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 6

The next day wasn't as bad as I expected it to be. The effects of the previous night weren't all that bad. Except for the fact that we got a little less sleep due to the late night it wasn't all that bad. We were in Pondy and not going to Auroville was a crime in itself. One of my cousins, who is an architect herself told me so.

So our plan that day was to explore the roads of Pondy that lead us to Auroville. So we were up by 8 in the morning as we had to leave early to get there early. I think Akshay and myself were the last to wake up. We were the oldest Brahmacharis of the lot*excluding Krit coz he is a VERY bad excuse for one*. Talk of irony!

We all were ready in a while and decided to leave without breakfast, hoping to get some at Auroville or on the way there. We were in a hurry because Auroville wasn't exactly in Pondy. It is about an hour's drive from Pondy. It was sort of fun to get to Auroville.

We left the main city, and asked our way to the highway from fellow riders and pedestrians. Once we got onto the highway it was a really nice experience. As I have specified earlier on, the fact that we didn't have to wear helmets on the Pondy roads was sheer pleasure. The wind in your face, the hand on the throttle, and the wide 6 lanes all to yourself and your bike. WOW. I do not know about the others, but I was alone on my bike and I enjoyed it fully.

A little ahead was the toll gate. Another of the small pleasures: no toll for two wheelers. We passed the toll gates and moved a little ahead to a crossroads. To the right was the road to Auroville. It was a narrow single lane road. The traffic on this road was almost zero. The road was calm and quiet. And deserted.

Here I did my first true wheelie on a bike. The super fat rear tire of the FZ was perfect for it. I am no pro at it. So I am pretty sure that was it not for the rear tire, I was sure to have fallen! The bike is tailor made for beginners. Just the right power, and that huge rear tire. A boon. I have to thank Yamaha for it. Now I wish I owned that bike.

Back to getting to Auroville. The 7 of us headed to the architectural wonder. The place is surprisingly well organised. The parking lot begins as soon as you enter. It has a nominal rate of 5 bucks per vehicle. No motor vehicles are allowed inside Auroville. The walk to the main gate is nice. We are surrounded by a green forest, with a path worn through by lots of visitors. Once you get to the gate, you are exposed to a torrent of people, both devotees and visitors. If it wasn't for the heat, it would have been something else.

There is a big and very clearly illustrated map to guide you through the place. The best part is, the cafeteria is situated just next to the gates. To us hungry boys, that was like a gift of the decade. The excitement was soon extinguished by the prices and the fact that nothing was available. We were too late. Breakfast time was over. But we were all hungry enough to make the best of what was there. We munched on the puffs and sweets available in the counter and paid what seemed like a fortune for the junk we were having.

After eating just enough to keep our minds away from food, we moved ahead to have a look at the Matrimandir. We truly were cheated by the circumstances. After enduring a long walk in the hot sun, we found out that it was closed for visitors due to some maintenance work. Sad. But we enjoyed a view of many "other" beautiful things*boys will know*!

After cooling off, we left Auroville for the beach. This is what all of us were looking forward to. True we had already seen the sea. But we had yet to get wet. In about 45 min we got our wish. We arrived at the Auroville beach, after riding through little winding kachha roads. The entrance is unlike any I've seen before. On a beach where drinking, smoking and drugs are prohibited, we were shocked when we were confronted by a drunk man coming out of the section of the gate which said "for devotees and their guests only". What is the world coming to?

But we weren't there to worry about all that. We were there to have fun and get wet. So we let the insolent B@#$%!d get by and hurried to the beach .I must say it felt pretty rude that the way to the beach for visitors was so narrow and cluttered with a lot of waste. But who am I to ask!

We made our way to the beach. Its a small beach. The water in the distance is pure blue, like in the movies. But closer in, it is as dirty as any other beach I've seen. When you look at the beach, its rough in places and clam in places. Nonetheless, there were people all over who were enjoying themselves thoroughly in the water. Vendors were on the beach with ice cream and tender coconuts. We walked a little distance and found a spot to put our stuff down. We sat there for a while before walking into the water. And then we lost ourselves in the water. 

Untitled

This here is a poem, not by me. Excuse the bad grammar, I'm "MINDING MY LANGUAGE". Getting back to the poem, which is not by me, it really has the feeling. I appreciate the maturity in the poem, and I think its beautiful. So I think you should all read it. Please do.

When I first met you,
I just stared into you,
your affectionate smile glowed with warmth
And cosy i became in your company

You had your own aura
One that was lovely and divine

But soon , as i was seeing you
Time just stopped still
Evrything came to a standstill
Silence was all that prevailed 
But my soul wailed
It was searching for you
My heart became like a crumpled tissue

But then there u wer lik a statue
Your smile had become immortal
My mouth managed to slip out a few words
And my soul tells me they wer : I Love U

When d clock strtd ticking again
Your evry movement struck me
When u blinkd ur eyes
I became blind
When ur lip twitched
I felt like holding them still
When u brushed aside ur frills
My hands wanted to fondle ur hairs
And finally when u came near me
All i wanted to do was kiss u!

You are the best thing dat evr happened to me,
And dat evr will happen
You are d only thing dat crosses my mind .........evrytime!
Suddenly i feel that sleep is great 
And i know ,My dear Angel
Whatevr i dream abt u
I knew 
it would come true
As me n u
Will never be separated 
Till love exists............
.......... Till you exist
I will always look into your charming eyes n tell
I LOVE YOU
Till my last breath 
n dat's a promise !!!!


                                                                                 - Yogesh Suresh.


You can contact the author at https://www.facebook.com/yog.yogesh.

Hope you enjoyed it!

King Sunflower

Have you seen King Sunflower?
Beautiful, big and yellow?
With a belly of pollen,
A limb of stalk,
It stands tall and strong and sharp.

Look at him,
You'll feel like a subject,
Him like a majestic king.
You can look and look,
But you won't find one,
As cool and humble as him.

But did you know,
He hath a queen,
Bigger and more majestic than him?
She is mightier than all,
A God of worship,
Kind and generous to all.

She is a bringer of light,
A supporter of life,
But know that she can kill!

She hath many a subject,
Like this earth,
This sky,
And every planet you know of!

Her name is The Sun,
You know her well,
Just look at the sky if you don't!

She shines so bright,
You can't look in her eye,
Oh my! Her beauty is such!

But look at King Sunflower,
He spends his days,
Looking, Staring and Adoring!
His Queen he loves,
Oh so much!
He can't take his eyes,
Off her Shining, Beautiful body!

He follows her trail,
Through the sky,
As she does her job everyday.
Not a day does he miss her walk,
Be it the a of god or of devil!

To him his world,
Is only one,
And that is The Sun,
In her wake,
He lives his life,
Humble in Love and Lust.

Her look of Anger,
Is one he can't fight,
Her look of sadness,
Is one he can't bear,
Her look of happiness,
Is his life's dream.
His day begins,
As she rises from sleep,
And ends,
As she retires to sleep,
His love of her is such!

To all the lovers of this world,
Learn from the King,
His love is pure!
It is one you should have,
For your King or Queen,
If you don't,
Then let me tell you,
Stop wasting your time,
Don't betray the love,
Made so pure,
By his Highness,
my Sunflower King.

                                                                                    - Madhav Nayak

This is my first composition in ages. It is dedicated to a special someone first, then to all the people who have someone you care about. Hope you enjoyed it!

Hey There Pondy! - Part 5

Again, forgive me for the delay. I had my internal assessments going on the last week. And it is my deepest pleasure to inform you all that I royally screwed them all up. But through all of that, the memories of Pondy kept reminding me of the brighter side of life. So here's the next post!

We got onto the black rocks of the promenade beach, feeling a little bitter in the mouth at the let down... well, not entirely at the let down. The *welcome drinks* were doing their job per se. The sea is pretty rough at the shores of promenade. The rocks don't make it any easier to enjoy the beach. But, we were new and yet to discover how tho enjoy these rocks.

The rocks, and the warnings from parents and the internet were scary. So we were all apprehensive about approaching the angry sea. Drinks in hand we all sat for a while at the perimeter of the beach, talking in marvel that it had finally happened. The beach was a breath of fresh air after the intense heat of the main town. The breeze blowing in from the sea was really giving us relief and calming us down.

After a while of talking all of us fell silent, and I began feeling a little bored. So I decided to wander a little further into the rocks and do a little bit of wannabe mountaineering. Ankit, who I'm guessing was as excited about the beach as me, followed right behind me. The two of us slowly made our way closer to the beach till we were only a few feet away from the water. The sea really was a sight to behold. I've been calling it angry, but it was really calming. It was playful, spraying us with water once in a while, bringing on waves of different shapes and sizes, pushing forward and pulling back, making a thunderous rucus in front of us. It was, to me like a playful little child. I was amusing myself watching the sea play, and suddenly I realised most of the guys were down there with me and Ankit.

In a while we shifted our position down the beach and enjoyed the lazy quietness, something all of us had missed in a long time. It was peace for me. Having nothing to do, nothing to worry about, nowhere to be at, no deadline for assignments to worry about. It was a silence that is rare. When people fall silent, many times the silence gets uncomfortable. But the silence there was comforting and calming. When you can stand with 7 guys silently and not want to shout, you know you are with the right people. I know, I know: cliche. Hey! We all have right to be a little sentimental sometimes!

The moment had passed. The teenager in all of us wanted to break out now. So we all got out of the rocks, got our asses down to the parking, got onto the bikes and took off. We rode down the boulevard and parked in front of the huge statue of Mahatma on the boulevard. We then went back to the rocks and found comfortable places to sit(sleep in my case), and began sunbathing with our clothes on. The sun was so hot by now that it felt like we were under a focusing lens or something. It made us woozy and lazy. Again a silence settled over us, and it was NOT because of us being the right people. We just didn't have the energy to do anything but lie there! Anirudh finally got tired of the pointless lying around and shooed us off the beach.

Since it was still 3 in the afternoon, none of us wanted to go back to the rooms. So we decided to take a walk to this place called Bharathi park .Nice park. But frankly, I was too pooped to notice anything. We were thirsty and needed something to cool off. The ice cream vendors at the entrance took full advantage of the situation. 25 bucks for an ice cream and it wasn't even kwality walls. Very nice park indeed.

The walk through the park had us wanting to run back to the rooms. We did. After cooling off, we decided that we needed to go buy some "condiments" for that night's plan. For security reasons, I will not willingly "admit" to the "plan" of the evening. But, come on. 8 guys, cheap pricing of Pondicherry. EVERYTHING is cheap in pondy. Even "oil". Anymore than that and I will be "admitting" to our plan. So, jusht imagine! *snicker*.

Only some of us had the experience in this sort of thing, so we were a little lost. The first thing we wanted to do was buy a few packs of cards. We all loved to play bluff and three days in pondy without bluff was unthinkable! So we stopped off at a corner store and bought 3 packs at 15 per pack. Ankit had brought one from home. So, the bluff problem solved, we went on to find the integral part of the evening.

The walk down the street was uneventful. We were also hunting for decent dinner to pack and take back to the rooms. We didn't find any. We came across a "condiments" distributor, but unsatisfied we left there empty handed. Finally we went into a little restaurant. The man at the counter guided us to a sister enterprise to get our food packed. We walked down to the place and ordered dinner*5 chicked biryani, 2 veg fried rice and one szechwan noodles*. While waiting, I don't clearly remember what we did. I think Kritarth went hunting for a lemon or something.

After getting the food, we bought a few disposable plates. Then we left for the rooms. On reaching there, most of us made our way up to the rooms. Anirudh and Kritarth went ahead and made arrangements for our "condiments".*yessssssssssssss* The night started with a few games of bluff. Ah that game. Time flies when you play it. Before we knew it, it was late and the rest of the night went very eventfully, "plan" being successful and all. I have to say, Akshay and Siddarth were really strong. They didn't take part in our little "plan".

I found out a bit about everyone there. Stuff was disclosed, realised and lessons were learned. We also found out Anirudh is an alien from the planet whats-its-name who can do *stuff*. It still sends a shiver down my spine when I remember what he did. He stood still like a pole and kept saying nothing was working on him. Whatte guy!

The rest of the night is a blur for me. I don't remember when I slept or when I went to my room. What I remember is Ankit puking his guts out. He actually kept saying I'm not gonna puke while doing it! Talk about loosing it!

Hey There Pondy! - Part 4

I'm sorry for the delay in the blog post. As the days go by, its harder to remember clearly the events that have passed. And it doesn't help that my mother has serious son issues. Oh, and I discovered twitter. People can follow me at here:https://twitter.com/#!/godofMAD Anyway, lets get on with my Pondy Experience. Sometimes, I feel that should come with a little TM with it.

So we walk down the skywalk, sweating like people who just ran a marathon and walk down the road, past the bus terminal. We come up to this little ATM around the corner. It had a little queue before it, and I began regretting it. Miraculously as we got there, the queue disintegrated. We walked up to the ATM, and found out why the queue disappeared. The servers were down.*God's a joker*

So our third quest in Pondy was a failure. I was down 2k(deposit for the bikes), and left with a little over 1k on me. Thankfully Susanth owed me a little cash and it held me till day three.

It was already afternoon and we hadn't had a decent meal in one day. We were all hungry so we found our way back to our hotel, and hit the restaurant. It was a relief to sit in there*A/C*. We thoroughly enjoyed our food. Meals in 135 bucks a man. Unlimited rice, tasty curry. Boon. We filled ourselves to the neck and went to our rooms to get ready to hit the beach.

Something I forgot to mention previously: Kritarth, Anirudh and Susanth had the brains to chat up the security guard, give him a little *something* and get him on our side as soon as we booked our rooms. It helped us a little to have a happy security guard. So when we asked the guy directions to the beach, he was more than eager to help us out!

Now, when I say beach, we wanted a shore, water hitting our faces, and all of us getting wet. We got on the hired bikes, and ripped down the road to the beach. The best part of Pondy is the loose traffic rules, compared to Bangalore. So you get to feel the wind in your face when you are ripping down the road at 80kmph on a fine bike from Yamaha. To all the FZ haters, go to Pondy, hire one, and go to beach boulevard. It'll change your mind. It changed mine.

I am an avid beach lover. When I am just kilometer from a beach, my hair stands on end. My back feels ticklish. My vision becomes vivid like I just ate a *mushroom*. I can feel the salt in the air. When I finally get to see the vast expanse with no seams at the horizon, the glazing glassy surface with ripples as countless as the stars, its pure poetry. I'm in love. And I can't stop looking. Correction; staring. A pair of the fines double Ds wouldn't captivate me that much! *No offence ladies*

So, when we approached the Prominate beach, and I got my first look at a beach in 4 long years, I had a visual orgasm. My hand twisted the throttle to open fully, and I sped down the road, and came to a stop in front of the most magnificent of water bodies: the ocean.

The Prominate beach, Pondy's main beach, now has a fully stoned shore. No pun intended. It literally is coverd with rocks! At first, the rocks were like a major turn off. We wanted to cool off. We wanted water. We wanted wet clothes. We got a rocky bitch, with a violent see. *pun intended if you get the joke, but its lame anyway*.

But the good part of the beach is, the clean maintenance it has. The boulevard that runs the length of the shoreline, is a treat to the eye. It is immaculately clean and peaceful. It has one all night cafe, like right out of a fairy tale. The boulevard is lined with the government buildings, all in french style. A good part of Pondy is filled with the beautiful people of France. Or French-Indian people. Or whatever they are. So, for these beautiful people, a good part of Pondy is now the white city. With sensible board signs, neat grid streets, clean*super-clean* roads and really nice buildings that look out of place in Pondy. But all the same, this part called the white city adds to the Pondy Experience.

With all the charm of Pondy working on us, we digested the fact that there's gonna be no water for the day and went to a nearby beach hotel, took the back route and got onto the beach. Krit disappeared for a minute and got back with a couple of bottles of *welcome drinks*.

Aah. That was the dream. With the bottles of *welcome drinks*, the rocky shore and the beach, Pondy felt more like Mumbai. But it was still the dream. 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 3

It was 9 15am. Pondy was already hot like a furnace. I missed the Bangalore temperature already! I am a spoilt brat after all. What I didn't know was: it was gonna get a lot hotter. Sweaty person I already am. Pondy made my sweat glands do over time. The walk from the platform to the rickshaw stand had me sweating worse than my most tiring basketball game*over-exaggerating*.

Pondy railway station was much like its Bangalore counterpart. Crowded, hot and the rickshaw-wallahs hounding everyone within earshot. We had already decided on the train to split into two groups: one to go hunting for the Bikes. Another to go hunting for the hotel room*well thought out*. Two rickshaw guys looted the youthful tourists. Classic story. Damn, we even fell for it.

What all of us had overlooked, was the fact that it was the weekend and there were probably many more guys*not to mention the chickas* like us filing into Pondy for the dream weekend getaway! There was even this drunk dude*notice the use of "DUDE"* waiting on the platform giving away pamphlets of a party that very evening!

Anyway, what I am getting at is that we were pretty late for the weekend. Akshay's sister informed our woefully unaware asses of how late we were! So the 4 of us with the original identification cards went on to mission street for the rental bikes. Upon reaching Mission street, we looked up and down the road wondering if we had come to the right place. It wasn't a sight I expected. The street only had what looked like owned vehicles! No rental vehicles in sight. None at all. We look at one of the boards and recognize it from the internet. When we enquired there, we found all he had left was an Avenger and an Activa. *sob*

I panicked. I think we all did. For a moment it looked like our perfect weekend was over*picture horror*. Thankfully, there were other places up and down the street that had a few bikes in front of them. So the 4 of us, again split up. Kritarth and Akshay went left. Susanth and myself went right. What got into Kritarth I do not know. He planned big. He wanted to spend the weekend riding a pulsar. What did he end up riding? A Passion Pro! Akshay hired a Shine. Susanth and myself on the other hand had some immediate luck and chanced upon a couple of FZs standing around the corner.

Fast as ever we booked the two bikes, and I don't regret it at all! I hated the bike before this. Now  I can't resist the bike at all. All the rental takes is the deposition of an original ID(like your DL/Adhar card) a phone number and a little Tamil*the Tamil helps*. The four bikes in tow, we asked directions to the closest petrol bunk*straight down the road, 4th left*, and went to the petrol bunk.

The petrol bunk we saw looked like any other petrol bunk in Bangalore. The comparison ends there. For one, I have never seen such a long queue in a petrol bunk! The place was over flowing with vehicles and the 4 dispensers were working every bit their worth. The station was under employed and over stressed. Frankly, it was a little over whelming! The other thing about the Pondy petrol bunks is that they are quick in their work. They don't keep you waiting, not even for change. The third thing is, they have amazing petrol. I'll get to that a little later.

So we fill the bikes with petrol and call the other guys up. We were gonna stay at the Sapthagiri hotel. My recommendation? That should be your last resort. We drove around the new pondy area a little. It can be pretty confusing on the unfamiliar streets. We actually passed the Sapthagiri once before finding out that we did. Anyway, we reached there in a while*seemed like forever*.

The rooms were just what we needed but we could have done better. We hired three rooms, one a/c deluxe, two non a/c non deluxe. Kritarth, Susanth and Ankit took the deluxe. Sid and Anirudh shared one non deluxe and Akshay and myself  the other. The non deluxe rooms were cooler*evil smile*. We went up to our rooms and finally finished up with our morning work, or should I say afternoon work, because by the time we reached our rooms it was 12 in the after noon.

We decided to do the toilet work, bath and meet up down stairs to have lunch. I bet we all were feeling the pressure and nobody said it, but I had to take a shit urgently. I mean, come on! I am used to the early morning toilet thing, and the bloody trains had no water! No paper roll also*grumble*.

When I finally got the toilet to myself, and finished with my urgency, I got to the mirror to wash my face. I found the hard water was already getting to my gums. People with ultra sensitive gums should carry good water.

By the time we met downstairs, we were no better than when we went up. All of us were already soaked in sweat. And in all this, Kritarth wanted to find an ATM on foot. Yeah. Good plan to kill us all. So like fools we walked up the road. then back down the road. Down the road was a skywalk for the New Bus terminal in Pondy. We tottered up the skywalk, chatting, drooping like flowers in the heat, when we saw it. It looked like someone with my situation had found no place to stay and had to do it on the skywalk. A sight it was. Lucky none of us threw up. Cant say the same for the french couple that passed us on the way down*poor people*.

Hey There Pondy! - Part 2

We were supposed to leave Yelahanka at 8pm sharp. That meant 7 30pm for Ankit Amtange. It seems we totally over estimated his worth. To Ankit, 7 30 sounded like 8 30. Wonder what he was doing? We all have our theories. Difficult to say which is true. I'll go with the theory that he had to kiss his boyfriend goodbye. Lovers!

While we waited for Ankit to turn up, we helplessly watched on as ten empty buses left the bus stand. So when Ankit finally turned up, we wanted to loot him of his money and dump him in the closest dust bin. Sadly we were in too high spirits to do anything that extreme. Lucky break for the guy if you ask me.

Luckily we did get a bus and it was pretty empty. We had a comfortable and very noisy trip to Yeshwanthpur. You know how it is with a gang of perverted guys. We probably had the whole bus wishing we were outside the damn bus. Oh well, we did not do this often so what the hell! We reached the railway station hungry and well over an hour early. We wiled away time in the smelly station talking and being noisy as usual. We earned our share of stares and I have to say, it feels damn good to stick out!

At 10 45pm the green coaches of the Garibrath rolled in. We lugged our bags into the coach and found our seats. And Ankit's seat. Ankit had been given the number 52 seat. A full two compartments away. So our immediate goal: Find the guy who had the closest seat and get an exchange. The train journey was good. We had a mini party going on in our compartment. We were disturbing the whole coach with our loud ruckus. With plans about the first thing to do in the morning to playing Noah's arc, we tried our best to keep everyone awake!

Before we knew it, the clock had passed two in the morning. I had just started to wonder why the people in the train were being such sissies going to sleep so early. There I knew, the next three days will go before I could catch them. With these guys, time files. So we finally decided to get some sleep. Siddarth immediately fell deep into sleep in his berth. As for the rest of us, we whipped out our books and got to reading. Susanth took to music as did Anirudh. I for one had trouble sleeping. For one thing, I was excited about reaching Pondy, so I was restless as ever. Every half hour I would wake up, grumble and go back to sleep. And every time, Kritarth, Ankit and Susanth would be up talking, or messing around with their phones. Ankit got playful with the handycam and took some spooky clicks of all of us.

Then I slept. When I woke up next it was 6am. Ankit and Kritarth had finally fallen asleep. Susanth was still wide awake with the earphones plugged into is ears. Everyone else was sleeping like logs. We all finally woke up in a while. Brushed our teeth in mineral water. Not as good as it sounds. The Indian railways finally did show their niyath. No water supply on the train!

Time passed and those of us awake started to get jealous of the sleeping beauties. We woke them up in the most cruel ways. It was worth it to get their swearing early in the morning!*bwahahahaha* The next station we stopped was the final junction before we set foot in Pondy, our destination. We were all very hungry so we grabbed what little food we could and filled our hungry stomachs.

In 15 minutes, the train rolled into the Puducherry railway station. 

Hey There Pondy! - Part 1

Now I turned 19, sweet 19, and it immediately started messing with my head. The last of my teen years and what have I done to be proud of? What every other guy does: score a couple of distinctions, make your mother proud, get addicted to Facebook, Tweet your life out, find the love of your life, give in to your calling, fail only the most prestigious institute's entrance, make the best of friends, rot at home, become fat, struggle to become thin, try everything your mom says to stay away from, etcetera etcetera. Yeah, not much to be proud of.

So, I get together with the gang and Kritarth gives this great idea: "lets go to Pondy". At the time, that sounded like: "lets go to vegas". FYI, my exams had finished a couple of weeks before that and all the action I had was a little *stuff* from the net and of course, my beloved guitar( for another time). So when Kritarth said "lets go to Pondy" we all dreamed of a bling-life. What with all the tight pockets we had, the cheap life of Pondy was an allure to the teenage mind and body. Everyone had their expectations. Pondy lived up to it. Period.

Let me tell you something about Kritarth. He is a lousy student and a pain in the ass son. But he is one heck of a travel manager. But for the short patience fuse he's got screwed into his amazing brain, he is flawless. He planned the trip from the scratch and made sure we didn't go running to mummy-daddy to get bookings and make the trip a comfy experience. We lived the three days like the Teenagers we were. Respect dawg.

Now this trip was a big deal for me. I was looking forward to a lot of things. One: three amazing days away from my mom's over-protective mushiness. Two: the rocky beaches of Pondy. Three: cheap rental bikes and cheaper fuel. Four: Three amazing days with the gang. Five: refer one. So I did a lot of research. Looked up places to get the bikes. Looked up affordable hotels for rooms. Looked up stuff to do in Pondy. I started hyper acting and forgot: Kritarth was there for all the work. I am the guy who wants the highest level of assurance before doing something new. So I naturally tried bookings and stuff. Kritarth put his foot down *thank god* and asked me to chill. If we have to sleep in the railway station we will. But we will not act like 40 year olds. Good advice.

It was hard enough to convince Kritarth to book the return tickets. Good we did. Airavat is a blessing in disguise. Slept like a baby. Thankyou K.S.R.T.C.

Train tickets booked, Garibrath A/C coach. Seats 25-30, 52 and 53. Anmol*youuuuuuuu sonofabitch*left to Andaman and Nicobar a couple of days after the ticket booking. I've already mentioned what a Pain in the ass he is*refer "A Friend To Remember"*. He was coming for the first day of the trip only. Returning the very day we arrived at Pondy. Anirudh had already left for Saudi Arabia. Anmol arrived 22nd and Anirudh arrived 26th. So the plan had to start on the 27th.

25th I find out Anmol isn't coming. Why? Dad not allowing. Why? He spent a lot for the Andaman-Nicobar trip. He apparently took the family scuba diving and all. Respect for his dad. But I still fail to understand why he wouldn't spare a little more and let the guy come with us to the damn trip. Anyway, F@!k Anmol. He'll never change. Neither will his father.

26th was a full day. Ankit has a little calculation attack and is convinced that our 5K per person budget wasn't enough for the 3-day trip. My whatsapp screen was full of his gory calculations. He murdered the teen spirit that day*youuuuuuu sonofabitch*. We finally told the guy to shut up and that if need be, we would sell his kidney for the right price. Yeah, we're a shitty lot.

Packing was an affair, it was! My mom made me shift from my wildcraft backpack to an american tourister travel bag. Mine was the biggest and he heaviest bag of all. Thankyou mom. You held my head high for me. Again*main reason for the trip*.